We've Got Spirit, Yes We Do. We've Got Spirit, How About You?

Raising a toddler is hard work ... especially when they are "spirited," a term Ambyr uses to describe her active son.

Do parents with more-active-than-usual two-year-old carry anything special in a diaper bag?"A notepad for me to write things down on," Ambyr says, "and Luke loves to scribble on paper. Nail clippers, just in case. And of course, our favorite train, plane and auto-mobile."

Ambyr chose this Skip*Hop diaper bag because she likes the clips that attach to a stroller, and the messenger style bag.

"Parents of spirited children may find themselves in a Catch-22," Ambyr explains. "They want to get out with their children to help socialize their child, but they hesitate because their child doesn't play well with other kids."

Ambyr says getting out, joining a play-group or attending a mommy-and-me class is essential. "It takes a lot of pride swallowing," she explains, "because when your child miss-behaves other people really don't understand what it is like to be in your shoes."

So, what to do?

#1. One solution Ambyr offers is to start a play-group.

When her son was little, she organized a group of moms to meet weekly and rotate from house to house. "I loved that time," Ambyr says. "I loved talking with other moms and I loved having Luke play with other kids his own age."

As the children grew, the play-group moved to the park.

Recently Ambyr began an "ABC" school. "Basically it's a play-group with a purpose," she says. Once a week the children meet at some one's home and learn about a letter in the alphabet.

"My son wasn't ready for pre-school, and neither was I," admits says. "So when a friend mentioned this to me, I knew it was something I could do and wanted to start."

#2. Try a play-based class:

Ambyr formerly enrolled Luke in a "Little Hands" co-op program. "It was a great way for both of us to learn about socializing and kids," Ambyr says.

Now Ambyr and Luke enjoy a play-based art class together.

#3. Do things outside!

"It can be stressful trying to figure out what are appropriate activities," Ambyr explains. "We can not make it through story time at the library, and Luke does not like to sit still for long. The park is a great place to get out energy."

Book Suggestions:

Preschool Amanac by Ann Stiefel

The Blessings of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel

Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian

Raising a Son by Don Elium and Jeanne Elium

The Most Bang For Your Baby Bucks

Check out Sarah’s diaper bag – little books, little doll, a few diapers and such – no need for this mom of two to carry around a jumbo bag for her wee ones.
Little, or less, is key for Sarah. After all, baby gear (furniture, strollers, clothes, toys – you know the list) adds up quick and you could easily spend a small fortune on “stuff” for your little one.
Fortunately, Sarah is an expert at getting the most bang for her baby bucks. This crib and toddler bed … free from Craigslist.org. In fact, Sarah’s house is filled with fun accessories for young ones that she’s acquired for next to nothing.
“I like to find good deals,” Sarah says. “Why spend money when you don’t have to?”
Here are 10 Sarah Saving money tips:
#1 Hand-me-downs: Sarah’s siblings pass on clothes their kids out-grow. Since children change sizes so fast, most hand-me-downs are practically new. Plus, anyone who’s actually paid Janie and Jack prices for clothes, and then watches as a “blow-out” or temper tantrum in the dirt destroys the ensemble after less than one use, secretly swears to never buy new again. Be open to inheriting others toys and furniture too, Sarah suggests. This walker, rocker , and dresser were "out-grown" and passed on to Sarah's family.
#2 Borrow: Halloween costumes generally get worn once before they are outgrown from the original owner; so borrow from a sibling, friend, or neighbor. Borrowing works great for large items too; you don’t have to fork over the $$ and when you are done with it, you don’t have to store it. Plus, often you don’t know if your child will like the swing, exersaucer or bouncy seat until after they’ve used it for a while. (The pictured swing, exersaucer and bouncy are things I’ve borrowed or loaned out).
#3 Clearance rack: Sarah bought these clothes for less than $2 at Target on clearance. She says if you sign up for Child’s Place on-line, during your child’s birthday month you get an extra 20% off. By shopping clearance during those months, Sarah says she’s bought brand new shoes, dresses and outfits for 2-3 dollars a pop!
#4 Craigslist.org: boppy $4, bumbo $10, toy organizer $20. Sarah says she regularly checks out the ‘Baby & Kids’ and ‘Free’ postings.
#5 Ebay: brand new stroller $80 (with shipping).
#6 Consignment and second-hand-stores: Sarah says she findsdarling clothes and shoes at a fraction of retail costs. You can also find great toys, like this stroller for only $4.
#7 Coupons: Use them, you’ll save money. Sarah also uses frugalisfab.blogspot.com. “Just google ‘free samples’ or ‘coupons’ and you will find a lot of great resources,” Sarah says. She also suggests creating a separate ‘junk’ email account for online registering.
#8 Make toys: It's fun. "I think I enjoy making toys more than the kids," Sarah says. Use salt dough to make ornaments, create your own holiday decor and print out individual pages to color from the Internet rather than buying a whole coloring book.
#9 Make 'real' toys: Use things that are 'real' but you no longer need (like old library and grocery store cards) to make a play wallet for your child. Chances are, your little one will enjoy the 'real' wallet more than a fake. Old cell phones make great kid phones too.
#10 Keep your eyes open: Someone else’s trash can be your treasure. A neighbor put this toy out with the garbage. Sarah took it, cleaned it up and added batteries. “It works great,” she says. Another ‘dumpster-dive’ treasure: this outdoor sandbox.
Final Note:
Sarah cautions that not all good deals are worth your time and money; know what you need to purchase and aggressively find the best deal. “If it’s something we don’t need,” Sarah says, “no matter how cheap it is, it’s not a good deal.”

Leave it to Beaver... I mean Bonni

Bonni is a modern day June Cleaver; the quintessential ‘stay-at-home’ mom of the 21st century. She says, with two little kids, her Petunia Picklebottom diaper bag has morphed from a bag with toys and “just in case” items, to a bag filled with necessities.
June Cleaver always had a warm plate of cookies for Beaver when he came home from school; similarly Bonni always has a Ziploc full of tasty treats.
In addition to keeping her kids physically well nourished, Bonni helps her little ones to a full portion of culture, fun and stimulation.
“I view being a full-time mom as a full-time job,” Bonni says. She suggests being a great full-time mom is similar to being a great employee. The difference, Bonni says, is effective motherhood takes more self-motivation. “You are your own boss when you are a stay-at-home mom. If you don’t actively plan stimulating things for your kids to participate in, no one else is going to do it for you.”
And Bonni practices what she preaches. She plans trips to the zoo, museum, park, library and a myriad of other outings. “I don’t want to over program my kids, so I plan everything in my phone. Once an activity is scheduled in my phone planner, I can make sure to balance the days events so the kids don’t get over stimulated.”
Bonni lovingly calls her pda cell phone her ‘brain’ and reiterates the adage: “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
The kids aren’t the only ones who benefit from getting out of the house. “I love museums and parks,” Bonni says. “I enjoy all the outings we go on. In fact, I’ve noticed on days when we don’t have plans, I tend to get more easily frustrated and the kids end up bored and frustrated too.”
For Bonni’s and her kids, morning are usually the best time to get out of the house; the kids are happy, everyone has energy and they have the best probability of making it through the scheduled event. “I still have to manage my expectations,” Bonni says. “If we are at a venue and there is a breakdown, we change gears and do something else.”
If you are not in the habit of taking kids on outings, be patient with yourself and children, Bonni advises. “Over time, they’ll start to enjoy museums as much as parks,” Bonni says. “Often getting out and learning to be in different social settings takes practice and getting used to. The more you do it, the easier it will become for everyone.”

Here are some practical planning and scheduling suggestions:
Keep and use a day-planner.
Consult your planner when someone invites you to do something… this will help you not accidentally double book.
Schedule time for everyday activities, like grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning. Bonni says that planning these activities into her schedule helps her not stress about when she’ll have time to grocery shop ~ she’s already scheduled it in to her plans.
Balance your days; if you go out in the morning, schedule a low-key activity in the afternoon.
Balance your weeks; if you have a totally full day on Tuesday, make sure Wednesday’s schedule is light. Give yourself and children time to decompress and recoup.
Don’t be afraid to say “no” to activities if you don’t have time or don’t think they are appropriate.
Plan activities you AND your children enjoy. “If you don’t like museums,” Bonni says, “go to the beach and collect sea-shells.”
Bonni says the key to planning is balance. “Writing down what we’ve got planned allows me to make sure we have a balanced schedule and variety of enriching activities to do together.”