You Are What You Eat

Best advice: Use your intuition rather than following a specific book.
Worst advice: The book Baby Wise – newborns should feed on demand, not on a schedule.
Jen's book suggestion: Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, by Ellyn Satter

Jen, a registered dietitian with a masters degree in dietetics, is the mother of two, darling young girls. “Having both hands free is a must with two kids,” says Jen, and that is why she opted for the back-pack diaper bag. Her versatile charcoal colored diaper bag is filled with the usual essentials plus Shout Wipes, though Jen assures me Oxy Clean To Go works better.
As a dietitian, Jen has great snack ideas for kids and moms alike. “Fresh is best,” she says, and taking the time to slice apples or pears is preferred to processed gummy-fruit snacks and granola bars.
My Ella loves carrying a Ziploc bag of “Fruit Loop” cereal – Jen suggests making Ella’s cereal snack a little healthier and less sugary by adding Cheerios or Kix to the mix. Great idea!

Snack favorites Jen serves her kids on the go: raisins, nuts, whole grain crackers, sugar snap peas, peanut butter sandwiches and baby carrots.
A carrot cooking tip Jen passes on: soften the carrots by steaming them for a few seconds in the microwave. It is easier for little hands and mouths to eat the carrots when they are softened.
Whenever possible avoid excess sugar and processed snacks. If you are in a hurry, grab fruit you don’t need to cut like a banana or orange (don’t forget a baggie for the peel).

Important food advice:
1. Make your own baby food - no preservatives, it’s healthier and less expensive.
2. Expose children to a variety of foods, have them eat what you eat rather than hot dogs and dino-nuggets.
3. Parents should decide when, where and what food is offered. The child should be allowed to decide how much they want to eat and whether they will eat it.
4. Never force a child to eat.
5. Never offer food as a reward (“if you sit down you can have candy”) because parents should not create moral associations with food. Plus, by keeping food 'neutral' you allow children to maintain their natural ability to determine if they are full or hungry, and reduce the risk of future eating disorders (like obesity and anorexia).
6. Have your child sit at the table with you in a booster or high-chair rather than in the corner. Making the child part of meal time allows them to feel more connected with the family, and to have positive associations with meal time.
7. Set appropriate table manners and limits. For example, in their home, Jen says if her daughter throws or dumps food she is not allowed to stay at the table and meal-time is over.

Fortunately for Jen, dietetics and motherhood go hand-in-hand. “Family time isn’t compromised by my work,” she explains. “I see clients while my children are napping or on Saturdays.”
Since food and nutrition are important to Jen, she invests time in menu planning and weekly grocery shopping lists. Meal planning helps Jen make sure her family is getting plenty of fruits and vegetables.

Advice for parents of picky eaters?
Maintain and honor separation of responsibility - see points 3 and 4 above. "When a child refuses to try something, or will only eat hot-dogs, it is generally more about them wanting to exert their own independence and push boundaries and less about the food," Jen assures me.


A child will not willingly starve themselves, and Jen says if you offer healthy food at consistent intervals throughout the day, eventually your child will eat the good stuff. Your child will learn to trust you as you offer enough opportunities to eat balanced foods. Children will also learn that you are responsible (not them) for what is offered. "Young kids don't know what balanced nutrition is," says Jen. "That is why it is important that parents do not let their children dictate what is served at meal time."


At each meal offer you child food you know they are comfortable with, like bread or a favorite fruit. Also introduce at least one new food. "They don't have to like it and at first they might be angry about the new food since kids love consistency. But, in time they will accept it on their plate, eventually touch it, and even try the new food." As long as there is something they know and are familiar with on their plate in addition to a new food, you will eventually help your child have courage to try new things, or at least feel comfortable with different foods on their plate.


"Don't stress if each meal isn't completely balanced," says Jen. "As long as you keep offering a variety of healthy food, over the course of several days you child will have all their nutritional needs met."


A final suggestion for helping children feel safe with new foods is to do a three week menu cycle. That way your child will have variety (three weeks worth) and opportunity to become familiar with new foods (the cycle repeats).
Satter

Music to My Ears

“Piano used to be something I had to do,” says Kim. “Now it’s something I’m lucky to do.” Kim received a Master of Music performance degree from the Longy School of Music in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and holds a Bachelors of Music from the University of Michigan. Currently she and eight-month old baby Claire (or as my Ella calls her, “Baby Bach”) teach private lessons from their home and at a local music studio once a week. Though she does not have a mini-piano in her stylish Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag, she does admit “there is always a CD playing in Claire’s room when I change her diaper. It’s usually a church primary recording or a classical CD from one of my history of music classes.”

“It is never too early to get your child interested in music,” Kim assures me. But Kim suggests waiting until a child is at least six-years old before shelling out $20 to $60 dollars for a half hour of private music instruction.

“Parents have to be really involved when young children start private training; you have to be committed to having your child practice everyday.”
Though she says any musical instruction is great for child development, Kim suggests the piano is the best way to start. “Piano is a great foundation for all music appreciation. Plus, it sounds like music right away, even when you just begin learning… string and wood instruments require a lot of practice before they sound right.”
What else is in Kim’s diaper bag?
The bag is filled with the usuals, plus a sun hat and lotion (no skin cancer for baby Claire), a nursing cover, change of clothes for baby, and perhaps most important - a camera.

Rather than keeping a written journal, Kim takes pictures and videos (lots of them) of Claire that she then posts on a family Internet site. “It amazes me how fast Claire grows and how quickly she changes.” Kim says the last eight months have flown by and calls her baby’s continual growth a “bittersweet realization of how quickly babies grow up.”
Maybe that’s why when I asked her what advice she would share with other moms or expecting mothers, Kim said “try to enjoy each stage as much as possible because it passes quickly.” Though piano was a central part of Kim’s childhood and is now her profession, she does not want to force her daughter Claire into music. “I’ll encourage her and support her,” Kim says, “but it has to be her own interest. I don’t ever want it to be a source of contention on our mother-daughter relationship.”
That’s because, growing up, piano practice and performing was a sore-spot for Kim and her mom. “Now I get it,” Kim says. “She wanted me to be the best I could and really pushed me to practice and excel.” Regardless of what Claire’s future interests may be, Kim says she learned a valuable lesson from her mom’s persistence. “My mom wanted me to develop discipline and learn to work hard; those are skills I want my children to learn too.”
Kim says those skills (dedication, discipline, passion for an activity) can be realized in other ways besides playing an instrument, like painting and sports. Regardless of what baby Claire’s interest may be, Kim says she is determined to encourage her daughter but never force her.

Another suggestion for music appreciation: “Repeat the same song regularly. Your child will begin to recognize songs and music will become another form of expression for them.”

Karen Can Do

“Selfless” is the first word that comes to mind when I think of Karen… spunky, passionate, busy and determined are close seconds. Karen has four kids (three boys and a 15-month-old daughter) under the age of nine. Her black “Kenneth Cole Reaction” messenger-style diaper bag that she’s carried for nine straight years reflects her selfless nature.

Packed with books, toys, wipes and more, the only personal items Karen carries are gum and lipstick. The most used and important article in Karen’s diaper bag? “Definitely the first-aid kit, Band-Aids and ointment are essential with three active boys,” Karen says without a moment of hesitation. “I use the first aid-kit daily.”
A personal favorite in Karen’s diaper bag is the Old Maid card set with pictures of extended family members. The cards are a great way to remind kids of family members, especially when time and distance makes it difficult to see relatives frequently.
Making each child feel loved, appreciated and important is a top priority to Karen. During afternoon quiet time, she spends a half hour with each child – one on one. “I do whatever they want during that time,” she says. “If there is a board game I hate and Aiden wants to play it, we play it… or if Cameron wants me to watch him skateboard, I’ll sit outside and watch him.”
In addition to one on one mom time, Thursday night is “Daddy Hang Out.” On Thursdays Tim (Karen’s husband) takes a child out to get a slurpy, hit golf balls or just spend time together. Having individual time with each parent helps each of the four kids feel uniquely loved and cared for.

Most impressive is Karen’s “can do” attitude. Following several run-ins with the public school system, Karen decided home school was right for their family. Since she does not have a teaching certificate Karen admits to feelings of trepidation when she first began home schooling. But she took courage and believes that the same qualifications she has to be a mother are those that help her tailor lesson plans for the needs of each of her children.
“Having a schedule really helps me and the kids,” Karen says. “They know what to expect and it is just easier to plan.”

On Sundays, Karen creates the classical style lesson plan for the rest of the week’s teachings. Then each week day morning from 8:30 until 11:30 Karen’s boys go to the “school room” in their home. In the afternoon there is quiet time, followed by the park, then dinner and finally bed time around 7 pm. Three times a week Karen takes the family to the gym so she can work out and have some personal time. “I love home schooling,” Karen says, adding she plans to continue for as long as possible.
“My husband is number one,” Karen says. “The kids know Tim comes first, and that gives them a sense of security.” She adds that although it sounds old-fashioned, each day when her husband comes home from work she “drops everything to go give him a kiss.”
Being an effective wife, mother and teacher takes hard work, and means she has to enforce rules. “My job is to teach my children values as well as education, not to be my kid’s friend.” She’s quick to admit that being the disciplinarian is not an easy task, “but that is the job of being a parent.”
Best advice: Relax, kids are more survival prone than you realize.
Worst advice: the book Baby Wise, it’s too militaristic for infants. A schedule is important but not for infants.